Lessons In Power: Avoid The Unhappy and Unlucky

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Truly happy and successful people have a different aura surrounding them- a kind of infectious yet engaging vibe that makes you want to be in their presence and keep soaking up all that positive energy. You find yourself wanting to know more about them and you'd want to hear their stories, because it has such a profound effect on you.

As for the Unfortunate and the Unlucky? Well, without your knowing it, the effect is pretty much the same- you get sucked into their misery and negativity that you sympathize with them at first, and eventually blame the world for your own misfortunes rather than taking ownership of your situation and being proactive about it.

Law # 10 of The 48 Laws of Power tells us just that:

Avoid The Unhappy and Unlucky.
It's a very important law that has no reversal, no exception to it. No good ever comes out of associating with negative people.

There are basically two kinds of Misfortunates:
  1. Those who were brought down by circumstances beyond their control. Like hurricane victims, for example. These people really need our help, and I say go out of your way to help them, if you can.
  2. And then there are those who draw down misery upon themselves. They're not born into misfortune or unhappiness, it's just that by means of their negative view in life, and consequently their by way of their actions, seem to make the wrong choices, associate with the wrong kind of people, or just otherwise move in a path towards their own self-destruction. These people are the kind you have to avoid. Like the plague.
It's really very easy to let emotions or situations get the better of us. After all, it is human nature that makes us easily react and be affected by moods, emotions and the points of view of those within our immediate circle.

Those who are chronically unhappy, unstable and miserable are definitely worth watching out for. You'll recognize them because they portray themselves as victims of circumstance or victims of the actions of others. At first, you'll find it hard to see their misfortune as self-inflicted- after all, these people are trying to draw you into the whole drama that is their life, by gaining your sympathy and trust.

Unfortunately for us, we sometimes realize it until it's too late.

Remember the story of Lola Montez? How in her lifetime, managed to ruin the lives of several promising young men? Alexandre Dujarier. King Ludwig of Bavaria. George Traffold Heald. Pat Hull. Far more than her attraction or her wiles, the emotional attachment that she brings makes men want to help her out, but are instead sucked into her life drama.

Identifying with Lola Montez meant utter disaster. Heck, King Ludwig was a beloved ruler in Bavaria until his continued association with Montez took his country down the path of riots and the grips of civil war.

Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky.

German artist Joseph Karl-Steiler's portrait of Lola Montez in 1847 appears to the right, courtesy of Wikipedia.

How To Deal With The Unlucky and Unfortunate

Even if you've realized it too late, the only way you can deal with the chronically unhappy and unstable individuals is to make the hard decision to cut them off completely.

Helping them will bring you no good; they will only bring themselves down again, and take you down with them if you don't let go early enough. It's the miserable state of mind that constantly blames others and refuses to see an urgent need for change that keeps them at a center of an emotional vortex that sucks out all that's positive and happy.

As for us, we have to remind ourselves the importance of being proactive. Stay true to your beliefs and values, and don't let things weigh you down. Take stock of the situation, take charge of your own life, and always strive to rise above. Bad things happen to us to test our resolve: we can choose to either we pick up the pieces and move forward, or keep wallowing in a pool of misery and self-pity.

Surround yourself with happy and successful people. Draw upon each other's positive energy, and always do something good, or something productive.

Remember this:
You can die from someone else's misery- emotional states are as infectious as diseases. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draws misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it in you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead. - Robert Greene, The 48 Laws of Power

I've always been a huge fan of
The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene. Lessons In Power is a special feature in my blog, Renzie Baluyut Online, that serves as a personal reminder that you can make the most out of life by looking at it differently, and having a completely proactive state of mind. If you haven't read the book yet, I suggest you get a copy for yourself.

Cheers, everyone!

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